Saying No
How often do you say yes when you want to shout no? Do you say yes because you will feel guilty if you don’t? Saying no in an assertive, not aggressive , manner is hard. The person making the request is asking you for something. That person wants you to say yes. Don’t look to them for help when making your decision. Ask yourself, is this a reasonable request? Check your body. Are you breathing shallowly? Are you perspiring? Do you feel trapped, pushed into a corner? No one is going to hate you if you say no when you need to. Visualize yourself saying no. Practice saying the word aloud, perhaps in front of a mirror. Do this before you talk to someone you know will try to pressure you into saying yes. Abolish “I’m sorry but...” before you say no. Forget long-winded excuses. Simple, direct explanation will do. Some people will try to make you feel guilty. Just keep repeating no. You have a right to choose what you will and won’t do. Are you doing what you honestly want to do or what you feel others want you to do?
This is something that has taken me quite a long time to be comfortable doing -- it's definitely a work in progress for me and as you said, the guilt of saying no can pretty much consume me. This is a great reminder to me...don't jump w/the automatic yes, but have patience, take a deep breath and just say what you truly want to say, not what you think you should say.
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