The Art of Saying No

How often do you reply yes, when no is what you want to say? Does your
affirmative response spring from a sense of guilt about saying no?
Saying no in an assertive, non-aggressive, manner is difficult.  When
someone asks for something why not try saying, Let me think about that
for a bit and I will get back to you. This reply gives you time to
reflect on the request thoughtfully and carefully, before committing to
it. Ask yourself, is this a reasonable request? Check your body. Are you
breathing shallowly? Are you perspiring? Do you feel trapped, pushed
into a corner? Visualize yourself saying no. Practice saying no aloud.
Try to be proactive and practise this before you talk to someone you
know who may try to pressure you into saying yes. Forget long-winded
excuses. Simple, direct explanation will do. You have a right to choose
what you will and won't do. Are you doing what you honestly want to do
or what you feel others want you to do?

Art Therapy Exercise for Saying No

Have some paints or coloured pens and paper ready. Take some time to
breathe and feel settled in your chair. Do a quick body scan noticing
your feet, legs, back, stomach and chest. Write "no" in the middle
of your paper. Take a few moments to go inward and see what your
immediate body response is to the word. Do a quick word association and
write out from the "no" in the middle of the page all the words,
feelings and reactions that come to you. Finish the exercise by writing
or drawing all the things that you can think of that you would like to
say "no" to in your life. Now, on the other side of the paper write
or draw all the things that you would like to say "yes" to in your
life.