Reflecting on making small changes

Life is a process. We are a process. The universe is a process. -   Anne Wilson Schaef 

 In therapy the concept of making small changes makes sense. We all know that new growth doesn’t happen all at once. Loosing weight, thinking differently, or changing habits all happen by making small, slow changes in our daily life. Any life change can seem like an overwhelming problem. It's too much to take in all at once. We need to remember how each small change can affect a bigger change. Instead of trying to fix the entire problem, we can look at making small adjustments, and what their outcome will be. This approach to therapy not only produces immediate results, but also shows you that it's not so tough to change.

Noting small changes helps to:

-   strengthen our belief that change is possible and happening

-   builds a sense of self-efficacy

-   takes away the overwhelming feeling that the whole problem needs to be changed now

-   helps us focus, be present and slow down 

"[...] the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww!' "

— Jack Kerouac (On the Road)

Reflecting on how meditation can help your creative process

When you reflect on what you gain from meditation, you see that these are qualities that help your creative process. When you are calm, centered, free of obsessive thoughts, open and Present, then your creative process works better.

Focus

As you deepen into a meditation practice, you find that you concentrate better through out the day. Focusing on your breathing day after day helps you focus in all areas of your life. 

Patience

Meditation is learning to sit still and be Present. It is hard work to pay attention to your immediate experience. If you can do this for 20 to 60 minutes a day, you can do anything. 

Calmness

Meditation is calming the mind. Calming the mind results in calming the body. Calmness is very useful in creating and helps you learn to stay with your creative process. 

Insight

Mediation encourages moments of insight. When creating this leads to getting inspirational ideas, being open to new ideas and catching fleeting intuitive urges. 

Perspective

Mediation chances your perspective. As we sit with and observe the mind we start to let go of some of the trivial clutter that occupies the mind. It helps us focus on the big picture and what really matters. In the creative process, you notice a shift in what you observe, and what you are willing to let go of and to see the big picture.

Reflecting on the Five Slogans

Pema Chodron, was given the following advice by Machig Labdron, when she asked him how to obtain enlightenment. This was his way to work with fear, aversions and suffering. 

1. Confess your hidden faults.

2. Approach what you find repulsive.

3. Help those you think you can’t.

4. Anything you are attached to, let it go.

5. Go to the places that scare you.

 

Wow, I get overwhelmed just thinking about these five.

Reflecting on Struggling with Groups

A therapist friend has been visiting and we have been talking about how we deal with people who join our groups and then struggle with the process. I wish there was an easy answer. Often when therapists teach groups, there is one member that the rest of the group struggles with. When teaching a group how can we get through our context, create a safe atmosphere and space, keep people engaged and deal with the group member that struggles with, and or disrupts the group? Is it fair to other group members if we bend over backwards to make the group work for this member? Do other members want to hear one member’s endless processing while time and energy is taken away from them and the others? Have you ever been in a group where this happened or have you felt this like you were this person? I have taught many groups: art groups, art therapy groups, educational groups, and many others. Often the process flows and everyone finds a way of being in the group. When it doesn’t, we as therapists are sometimes at a loss at how to create harmony. 

Virginia Satir wrote about how individuals behave and communicate in groups by describing several family roles that can serve to stabilize expected characteristic behavior patterns in a family. For example, if one child is a troubled "rebel child," a sibling may take on the role of the "good child" to alleviate some of the stress in the family. This concept of role reciprocity is helpful to understanding family dynamics because of the complementary nature of roles makes behaviors more resistant to change.

Roles in groups:

   1. Encourager- gives acceptance of the contributions of others

   2. Harmonizer - reconciles differences among group members

   3. Gatekeeper- facilitates the contributions of others and keeps communication open by encouraging remarks about contributions.

   4. Group observer- notes what is occurring in the group and feeds it back to the group with an evaluation or interpretation of the group’s procedure

   5. The follower- goes along with the ideas of other members and takes the role of a spectator.

   6. Individual roles- hampers group functioning

         1. Aggressor

         2. Blocker

         3. Play person

         4. Recognition seeker

The advantage is group therapy is that these roles, if members are aware, willing and able to see them, can be explored and changed. Group members sometimes view the behavior of the therapist as a parent and other members as being like their siblings. Corrective recapitulation of the primary family group happens when the leader and members do not respond the way the clients family members did in the past and the client gains insight into their own behavior. Feedback from the therapist and other group members can help if the member is willing to hear it.

      If the group setting is safe there can be a catharsis expression of feelings followed by insight and learning. What is your experience of working with a client who has difficulty being in a group? What has worked for you and not worked? How are you in groups? Does your role change? 

Do we need a perfect place to write?

I have spent the last few weeks writing. Where I am it is quiet and lovely. I couldn’t help feeling that it was the perfect place to write. Everyone knows there’s only one perfect place to write, after all. So, do you have to put yourself in that perfect place for the muse to make an appearance?

Rituals always help. I light a red candle, a stick of incense, and then start. If I want I can travel down the road to the ocean, I can write while hearing its soothing and peaceful noises. Laptops are portable and allow me to move. Our cabin is surrounded by trees and the quiet of the forest is broken only by the calls of birds and the skittering of squirrels on the rooftop.

But maybe it’s not the quiet, the setting, and the solitude as much as it has been the routine. We wake up at 6:30 AM meditate, journal write, run, have lunch and then write for five hours everyday. We are here to write. So the writing comes. Maybe that is why this is the perfect place, because we have decided that it will be.