Thursday, June 23, 2011

Reflecting on Suicidal Thoughts

Clients sandtray image of feelings of hopelessness

Last week a client, who was feeling suicidal asked, “why bother living or trying to evolve?”
             Reflecting on that question for myself I wondered, ‘What if this is it and we have no way of ‘not being’ in some form alive?’ What happens if we don’t evolve and we stay with the same emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual awareness that we have now? I would find it difficult to imagine living out eternity with the same awareness that I currently possess. It would seem like a prison to me. I would hope that I could become more peaceful, enlightened, joyful, and wise. If we were all hostages bound by fate and time, I would want to create a life for myself full of freedom, joy, peace, love and kindness.
            I have figured out some of the things I think I am here learning. I am learning about letting go, acceptance, non-striving, gratitude, and trust. I am my primary art project.  I am always adjusting, transforming refining, revising and recreating myself. I strive to live more in Presence because it helps me be aware, and whole. I strive to find inner peace, and achieve the growth I want in my lifetime. I try to find better ways to nurture, teach and inspire the self with which I am entrusted. That is my answer to this question. How might you respond to the question? 
Check out my new post at Create Mixed Media on Why you would see an Art Therapist


Carole Reid said...

A few months ago a family friend asked the same question and decided there was no point to life. We have had to ask these questions while dealing with the shock and sadness of his suicide. I have come to the conclusion that life is about evolving into who we were meant to be and to be kind to ourselves and others through life as we are all evolving at our own pace.

Karen Wallace said...

Carole, Thank you so much for leaving a message. I am so sorry your loss. Hugs Karen

Elena said...

Sympathies to Carol. I've also known of those who face this question and lost the battle. I have faced it myself. Interestingly enough, as I was about to answer there was always something that the Universe presented that changed my response. I know there's something more. And as painful as it is sometimes, the growth I experience is all I can hold onto.

catherine said...

I have struggled with the same sense of hopelessness and despair. I've made three suicide attempts and been hospitalized many times when I didn't feel safe to be on my own. Being bipolar has not helped. Now I tell myself that this will pass. I ask myself what is underneath the despair, and it is usually anger. Anger towards those that abused me, that I have misplaced onto myself. With each step towards healing I remember that I am here to share my unique gifts with the world. The dark times have made me a kinder, more compassionate person. I love this lyric from Leonard Cohen.

"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in"
~ Leonard Cohen/Anthem

Karen Wallace said...

Catherine, Thank you so much for your post. Hugs Karen

nacherluver said...

“why bother living or trying to evolve?”
Because it is all we have and that is enough. We were given the gift of this life. I feel as if this earthly life we live is a chance to grow at a soul level. We learn things through living, through pleasure, through pain, through ego that our soul would not be able to learn or grow from without this experience of life. I bother because I choose to embrace life for the sake of growing in soul. I think everyone goes through a time (or more) where they ask these questions to themselves. Like Elena, I think the answer will always be different depending on what is going on at the time one asks them self that question.

Karen Wallace said...

Thank you so much for this reflection. Hugs Karen

The Creative Beast said...

That is an interesting question and yet I've witnessed many people who do NOT evolve and they are living just fine without the growth and they do it is a MYSTERY to me, but I'm wired differently, as I suspect most artists are.

Thank you Karen and all of you who have commented here on this question - battling a mental illness is not easy, as I've battled depression off and on, as well as wondered "why live".

I think that sometimes one can get truly consumed by the bad thoughts and may have no way to come back and when society/family/friends can not bear to consider such thoughts, including their own inevitable mortality, it is harder to reach those who are lost in the darkness.

Thank goodness there are wonderful therapists and ART therapists, such as Karen, who are shedding light on what is essentially just another facet of Being Human and having feelings, which truly do pass and make you stronger for having experienced them =-)

young-eclectic-encounters said...

Having many medical problems and almost dieing, but not of my own choice, for the most part I have come to see life as a time to celebrate. Sure sometimes I get down but something or someone steps in to remind me of that fact; a little serendipity in my life and a whole lot of godly intervention. I have built myself a support system and of course have my art to help. One day I looked at my camera and thought that it is a life-saver for me; it helps me focus on the beauty of this world through it's lens. I blog to let people know that even with difficulties there are ways to cope and evolve and even celebrate life.
My blog is


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