This is a wall in my Art Therapy Studio that I use to work with clients to explore feelings. |
We all
meet failure at some time in our lives; accepting failure is often very
difficult. More challenging is trying to rebound from failure. How do we learn
from the experience and get the courage and strength to try again? First, we
have to come to terms with the fact that we failed, process the emotions, and
resolve the loss. While we are busy healing the loss, we need to somehow keep
the passion alive for the project or idea. A part of us needs to stay engaged
and confident that the first try did not work, but that does not mean that the
book will not be published or the idea will not be accepted. We need to hold
both; the ability to process and be with the part of us that is suffering due
to the loss or rejection and then also be with and believe in the part of us
that does not want to let go of the project or idea and knows that it can be
realized. We have to become rebounders. Rebounders can hold onto themselves
while making changes.
This can
happen by:
1.
Maintaining a clear sense of who you are when you interact with others. Knowing
what you value and believe, and not defending a false or inaccurate
self-picture.
2.
Maintaining a sense of perspective about your anxieties and limitations so that
they neither drive nor immobilize you.
3.
Practicing the willingness to engage in self-dialogue that is necessary for
your growth. This includes being with your fears and anxieties.
4.
Acknowledging the parts of you that engage in projections and distortions.
5.
Tolerating the pain involved in growing; mobilizing yourself toward the growth
you value and aspire to; soothing your own hurts when necessary, supporting
rather than berating yourself.
Rebounders
stay close to their dream, even when their dream meets with rejection.
Rebounders
also can regroup quickly. They can rethink, reframe, and revise their project
to be accepted. They know that there are many ways to get to the end goal and
they learn to tolerate chaos, discomfort and not knowing. By being fluid,
flexible and open they learn how to navigate.
Rebounders
also have a flexible timetable of when and how their project will be accepted.
They know that waiting patiently is part of the game. This builds resilience and confidence and
helps draw them towards the success that they are seeking.
Art Therapy Exercise for Rebounding
First,
take some time to gather your favourite art supplies. Then get comfortable,
feeling grounded in your chair and noticing your feet and legs. Take a minute
to notice your feet. Take some time to relax your feet and let them make
contact with the floor. Press your heels into the floor, then the toes. Gently press both sides of your feet into the
floor. Now rock back and forth on your toes to your heels. Notice if you sense
any colour in your feet. Now shift your attention to the chair under your legs
and buttocks and adjust yourself to get even more comfortable in your chair.
Take a deep breath into your stomach. How is your stomach? Do you sense any
emotion there? Bring awareness to your back. What are you noticing there? Is
your back tense or feeling relaxed? Now
move to your chest. Can you breath freely? Is your chest open or closed? Notice
if your chest is constricted, expanded, or in some other state. Now move your
awareness to your hands and arms. Notice if there is any tension and gently
release it. Take time to sense into your hands, stretching the fingers. If your
hands could be anywhere in nature, where would they want to be? What would they be touching? Now, bring
awareness to your neck, your head. Release any tension in your jaw and neck
area. Now gently turn inward, sensing into your inner throat, your chest, and
then resting in the belly area. As you stay present and aware of yourself
sitting in the chair, give yourself a gentle invitation to notice where you
sense the part of you that is experiencing strong emotions about the loss. Is
there a part of you that responds? As you stay with this part, note what is of
concern there. Then gently shift to spend some time listening to the part of
you that is still engaged or excited about the project or idea. Take some time
to hear from its point of view how it is feeling. If possible, make room to be
with both parts of you, the grieving part and the passionate part. When you are
ready, gently bring this self focusing session to an end. Now, on the paper
show how both parts were revealed to you. You may represent them symbolically,
through colour or image. Note the weight, shape and texture of these parts.
Note where in your body you are sensing them as you represent them on paper.
Are they still communicating to you? To end this exercise ask yourself what one
thing you could do today to move forward?
1 comment:
Catching up on your blog posts and loved this one in particular...
Re-bounding is an important skill that needs to be learned and PRACTICED in order to make it work effectively in ones life. It's really about RESILIENCE skills, which also need to be learned and practiced. Thank you for sharing the techniques on this and the next post. You always have great exercises Karen!
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