Playing with gel beads which help children feel calm. |
Those of us who work
in the helping professions have a profound affect on the self-esteem of the
children with whom we interact.
We help build a
child’s self-esteem and sense of worth by doing the following:
1.
We
need to accept the children we work with unconditionally. I am not talking
about accepting all behaviour; I am referring to always accepting the child. We
need to separate the child from their behaviour and realize that their behaviour
is not their character. The children I work with know that I care deeply for
them and that I unconditionally support them.
2.
We
need to learn to overlook small behaviours. Knowing what behaviours to ignore
and what behaviours to focus on are important in helping children develop and
learn.
3.
We
need to have realistic expectations. We can hope for more, want better, but we
need to be realistic in the moment. I always have positive expectations for the
children that I work with, but I know that growth will happen when it happens.
4.
We
need to recognize effort and improvement. We need to remember the changes that
the child has gone through and celebrate any movement forward.
5.
We
need to appreciate the child’s uniqueness and respect their decisions.
As parents or
people working in the helping professions with children, we can diminish
children’s self-esteem and self-worth in the following ways:
1.
When
we have conditional acceptance or rejection, we diminish children with whom we
interact.
2.
When
we overact to small problem behaviours.
3.
When
we have unrealistic expectations.
4.
When
we accept only perfection.
5.
When
we hold grudges against the child.
6.
When
we evaluate the child as good or bad based on their behaviour.
7.
When
we expect the worst from them.
8.
When
we constantly compare them to others that we see as better.
9.
When
we neglect them.
10.When we get into power struggles with them.
4 comments:
Thank you for sharing how you with children in your art therapy practice Karen! The list you provide for working with children could possibly be adapted for dealing with adults in the workplace ;)
And we could all take the list to heart in working with OURSELVES...
Yes I agree. Hugs
You had me at "unconditional" and "acceptance". I grew up in an environment of "conditional" and it groomed me for my school years and beyond. I fought it all the time because I knew that it was my "right" to be loved, appreciated and accepted unconditionally by those who loved me and those who were teaching me. The teachers who were able to do all of that unconditionally were the ones I gravitated towards. And it made me ever more vigilant that my own children would be loved, taught and respected unconditionally. Thank you for sharing how a child's self-esteem can be supported.
his is my first time i visit here. I found so many entertaining stuff in your blog, especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the leisure here! Keep up the excellent work
Building Self Esteem In Children - Enter the world of building self esteem. Former low self esteem sufferer unlocks the code to getting your best life. Discover the correct keys to a content and happy life
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