Snow Lovers

Remembering to be Mindful at this Busy Time of Year

Here is a list of some resources:
Wherever You Go, There you Are: Mindfulness in Everyday Life (Kabat-Zinn, J.)
A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life (Kornfield, J)
Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness (Kabat-Zinn, J.)
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of the Buddha (Brach, T.)
The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation (Hanh, T.N.)

The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teaching of Buddhist Psychology (Kornfield, J.)
Emotional Alchemy: How the Mind can Heal the Heart (Bennett-Goleman, T.)
When Things Fall Apart:Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Chodron, P).
Turning the Mind into an Ally (Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche)
Mindflness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression (Segal et al.)
Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness (Salzberg, S.)
Dancing With Life: Buddhist Insights for Finding Meaning and Joy in the Face of Suffering (Moffitt, P.)
Thoughts Without a Thinker (Epstein, M.)
Insight Meditation (Goldstein)
Mindfulness, Bliss, and Beyond (Brahm, A.)
Calming Your Anxious Mind (Brantley, J.)
Start Where You Are (Chodron, P.)
Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart (Epstein, M.)
Losing a Parent (Kennedy, A.)
Peace is Every Step (Thich Nhat Hanh)
Starbright–Meditations for Children (Garth, M.)
Curious? Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life (Kashdan, T.)
The Relaxation Response (Benson, H.)
Everyday Zen and Nothing Special (Beck, J.)
Saying Yes to Life (Bayda, E.)
The Stress Reduction Workbook for Teens: Mindfulness Skills to Help You Deal With Stress (Biegel, G.)
Undoing Perpetual Stress: The Missing Connection Between Depression, Anxiety and 21st Century Illness (O’Connor, R.)
The Mindful Brain: Reflection and Attunement in the Cultivation of Well-Being (Siegel,D.)
Mindful Motherhood: Practical Tools for Staying Sane During Pregnancy and You’r Childs First Year (Vieten, C.)
Mindfulness Yoga: The Awakened Union of Breath, Body and Mind (Boccio, F.)
Beginning Mindfulness: Learning the Way of Awareness (Weiss, A.)
Breathe! You Are Alive: Sutra on the Full Awareness of Breathing (Hanh, T.N.)
The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness, and Peace (Kornfield, J).
Still Here, Embracing Aging, Changing, and Dying (Dass, R.)
Nonviolent Communication (Rosenberg, M.)
Mindful Exercise (Jones, C.)
New and Selected Poems (Oliver, M.)
The Essential Rumi (Barks, C.)
Coming to Our Senses (Kabat-Zinn, J.)
Soul Without Shame (Brown)
The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying (Rinpoche, S.)
Heal Thyself (Santorelli, S.)
The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire (Chopra, D.)
Overcoming Addictions (Chopra, D.)
Awakening of the Heart (Welwood, J.)
Zen Heart: Simple Advice for Living with Mindfulness and Compassion (Bayda, E.)
The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion (Germer, C.)
Teachings on Love (Hanh, T.N.)
Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (Hayes, S. & Smith, S.)

The Christmas Tangle

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. (Maya Angelou)

My Therapy Dog

Cyrus, my Therapy Dog, checking out the supplies after a busy workshop.

Valley Ridge Story

Valley Ridge Story



Learning Focusing to Help Free the Artist in You
Instructor: Karen Wallace


Do you want to learn how to:

* Be a better listener to yourself?
* Make clear choices?
* Be calm and compassionate to yourself?
* Support yourself through change?
* Feel relaxed and less stressful?

Focusing helps you learn how to be Present and listen to yourself so that you can move ahead in your life in an empowered and safe way. Focusing brings you closer to wholeness and allows you to access your inner wisdom. This helps you move in the direction of your potential. It can help you move beyond blocks and get in touch with your goals. Focusing is a gentle and powerful way to develop a deep interpersonal healing relationship with yourself.

Awareness of sensations in the body can be blocked through habits of dissociation and repression. This is because the sensation maybe uncomfortable or painful, and we are not trained to focus on this inner knowing and awareness of the body. Transformation of energy involves the acknowledgment, and information of the inner movement of sensation. This energy and awareness is essential to reconnect what has been fragmented by life stress, injury or trauma.

In this workshop we will work with:

* artist’s blocks
* money issues that we may have around our art
* time issues that we may have for our art making
* why we can’t get into the studio

SPECIAL NOTE:
This program begins the evening of Friday, September 10 from 6:30 to 9:30 PM, , and continues on Saturday and Sunday between 9:30 AM and 4:30 PM

What is Focusing?
Focusing is “direct access to bodily knowing.” It is a practice that takes a person towards a state of conscious perception that goes far beyond knowing something on a mere conceptual level. As with Somatic Experiencing, Focusing refers to this bodily knowing as a felt sense. As the Focusing Institute’s website explains, “You can sense your living body directly under your thoughts and memories and under your familiar feelings." Focusing happens at a deeper level than your feelings. Under them you can discover a physically sensed murky zone which is concretely there. This is a source from which new steps emerge. This murky zone “opens” as you learn to stay with it longer. Being with it increases the ability to sense feelings behind words or images, even when those are not yet formed. Eventually, you can learn how to let a deeper bodily felt sense come in relation to any problem or situation. It is a subtle process, hard to define in words. Focusing was developed by the philosopher Eugene Gendlin in the late 1960s and early 70s, while he was working with the famed psychologist Carl Rogers.

You will learn the skills of and receive credit for Level One Focusing by taking this workshop. You can continue to take Level 2 to 4 with Karen or another Focusing Teacher after this workshop.




To Register: www.valleyridgeartstudio.com

Action

“All human actions have one or more of seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion and desire.”Aristotle

What is motivating you today? 

Fill in the blank:

Life

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life:  It goes on. “

~ Robert Frost

The Empress Archetype

Images of creating hand casts in the Artful Archetypal Journey Group.

In my Archetypal Group we are exploring the Empress archetype. Empress energy is usually held in the womb, breasts and reproductive organs. When it is felt as a positive sense, then you can easily access your body sensations and intuit what you need in your life. When you are experiencing the Empress as a shadow energy, then you can feel negative about your body, experience a lack of psychical energy or have health issues. This can be the result of not listening to your body wisdom, not creating and playing, and not giving and receiving support. The lesson she is teaching you, is to develop your ability to express.
This archetype speaks to you when you are busy doing. She is present when you feel sensual and attractive, wanting to attract others, wanting to procreate, wanting to nurture self and others and when you work with your hands. She shows up at celebrations, weddings, parties and community events. You experience her wisdom when working in the garden, walking in the woods and being in nature. You hear and see her in animals. You experience her in the seasons and learn from her how to find a creative rhythm in your life. When you are pregnant you are very close to this archetype. You also feel her presence at the time of death. This archetype is also reflected in your relationship with your mother, how you see yourselves as mother and in your relationship with your daughters.

How do you experience this archetype in your life?



I'll tell you what love of this life is.
It's looking up
through trees newly bare of leaves
and seeing there the oldest road,
a broken line of white stars
stretching out across the sky.

It's thinking,
this could be enough.

~ Susan Elbe, from "Light Made From Nothing" ~

Reflecting on moving in the opposite direction . . .

“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage – to move in the opposite direction.”
- E.F. Schumacker

Why do old, eroding, structures appear romantic to me? I love the way the materials are blending into each other, the slow process of becoming one with the earth and the wonderful mix of chaos and order that appears to be playing out. Perhaps it is the ‘move in the opposite direction’ that I love so much. Maybe I am attracted to the gentle movement of letting down and letting in.
My son Teiji and I had an art show in Harris Saskatchewan this weekend. As we drove there, we saw these buildings scattered across the landscape. He wondered aloud if it was a law that every farm had to have one disintegrating shed, lean-to, or barn in the field next to the road. I couldn’t help feeling that the structures had entered a phase of peace making with the earth. It looked to me as if the structures, which once stood up straight on the land they occupied, were now bowing to the land.


You cannot be nonviolent if there is any part of yourself that you are in opposition to.
-Cheri Huber

Reflecting on Burnout

The following scale assesses your general level of burnout. It accounts for the personal, social, and work dimensions of your life. Rate yourself from 0 to 5 on each item.
THE BURNOUT SCALE
1. Do you tire more easily? Feel fatigued rather than energetic?
2. Are people annoying you by telling you, "You don't look so well lately"?
3. Are you working harder and harder and accomplishing less and less?
4. Are you increasingly cynical and disenchanted?
5. Are you often invaded by a sadness you can't explain?
6. Are you forgetting (appointments, deadlines, personal possessions)?
7. Are you increasingly irritable? More disappointed in the people around you?
8. Are you seeing close friends and family members less frequently?
9. Are you too busy to do even routine things like make phone calls, emails, read reports, or send out Christmas cards?
10. Are you suffering from physical complaints (aches, pains, headaches, cold)?
11. Do you feel disoriented when the activity of the day comes to a halt?
12. Is joy elusive?
13. Are you unable to laugh at a joke about yourself?
14. Does sex seem like more trouble than it's worth?
15. Do you have very little to say to people?

0-25 You’re doing fine.
26-35 There are things you should be watching.
36-50 You’re a candidate.
51-65 You’re burning out.
65+ Take special note, distinct threats to your health and well-being.

Reflecting on Change

"Change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal. " Arthur Schopenhauer

"One should either be a work of art, or wear a work of art". - Oscar Wilde

Freedom

"The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." Gloria Steinem

Expand/Contract

"No matter what your spiritual condition is, no matter where you find yourself in the universe, your choice is always the same: to expand your awareness or contract it."

-Thaddeus Golas

Focusing Oriented Art Therapy

I just returned from a wonderful retreat in Sans Jose California, where I studied Focusing-Oriented Therapy with Ann Weiser Cornell (Inner Relationship Focusing) and Glenn Fleisch (WholeBody Focusing).
I presented my work of combining Art Therapy and Focusing to the group.If you are interested in this work, I will be presenting a three day workshop at Valley Ridge Studio in Madison Wis. next year on my work Focusing Oriented Art Therapy.
What is Focusing Oriented Art Therapy:
- In somatic art therapy we are working with the rhythmic flow of the body.
- The artwork is a way of becoming present and reflects the felt sense.
- The body supports and gives meaning to psychological states.
- Emotions find their affective expression through movement and art.
- Focusing and bodily sensing can awaken early memories and experiences.
- By creating art from a place of body awareness, clients see the ways in which their growth and development have been constrained and art expression has the power to redress these constraints.
- The art making is pre-articulate and comes from the felt sense.
- Somatic art therapy provides a deep awareness of one’s whole being on a sensory level and an ability to work with parts or pieces of being while holding the totality of the whole self.
- The ability to stay in Presence while working allows the client to safely experience and explore parts that may be hurt, fearful, ashamed, traumatized, or in pain.
- The therapist provides the safe container in which the client moves into and out of her/his inner process safely.
- Growth is a neuromuscular reorganization.
-Through art expression and sensory explorations our bodies discover and develop their healing capabilities. The art is a way of tracking this discovery.
- Tapping into the creative flow helps us tap into our own internal creative flow that helps us know who we are physically, emotionally, and cognitively.
- Playing with and knowing our creative expression helps us know our health expression. It has a unique pattern, flow, as does our creative expression.
- Knowing where we feel and act in the most creative way helps us identify what internal and external environments nurture us most so we can continue unfolding and growing.
- In moments of ‘embodiment’ you resonate on a deeper level and these resonation's can be recorded, expressed. This is psychosomatic integration.
In Focusing Oriented Art Therapy:
Art object:
- is only a product of the moment
- has a pattern, structure, and rhythm that reflects the pattern, structure, and rhythm of our selves, it is an externalized map of the internal self
- is about art, art is about describing the world and art is about the maker
- is about the archetypal, touching the archetypal aspects of our origins
Play is:
- trusting our spontaneity, entering imagination, the unexpected and interesting.
- going where you are attracted, staying away from struggle
- a way to enter joy and pleasure, having free expression, and attuning to the things around us
- moving into nonlinear, intuitive and spontaneous expression
- not being careless, it means being free
Process not product:
- When you create art for process, not product, you can go anywhere, do anything, as there is freedom and endless possibilities.
- There are no rules, just being in a place of not knowing, staying curious, present and mindful.
- Process art making is being spontaneous and suspending judgment.
- Process art making is finding the energy and creative potential in all states. Wherever you are is the entry point.
- Being in beginner’s mind allows us to perceive things freshly, see media with fresh state of mind and tapping into a sense of well-being or authenticity.
- Seeing is as important as doing, expanding your sensory awareness: touch, sight, smell, sound, seeing patterns, themes.
- Play and art can open up the creative cognitive processes: broad scanning ability, fluidity of thinking, flexibility, insight, synthesizing abilities, and divergent thinking

Reflecting on Anger . . .

(an image done in an art therapy session showing internalized anger)

Most of us have received little help in learning to use our anger to clarify and strengthen ourselves and our relationships. Instead, our lessons have encouraged us to fear anger excessively, to deny it entirely, to displace it into inappropriate targets, or to turn it against ourselves. We learn to deny that there is any cause for anger, to close our eyes to its true sources, or to vent ineffectively, in a manner that only maintains rather than challenges, the status quo.

"The difference between the healthy energy of anger and the hurtful energy of emotional and physical violence is that anger respects boundaries. Standing forward ion your own behalf does not invade anyone's else's boundaries." Joann Peterson

The following is from Harriet Goldhor-Lerners book Dance of Anger.
1. Do speak up when an issue is important to you. Obviously, we do not have to address personally every injustice and irritation that comes along. To simply let something go can be an act of maturity. But it is a mistake to stay silent if the cost is to feel bitter, resentful, or unhappy. We de-self ourselves when we fail to take a stand on issues that matter to us.
2. Don’t strike while the iron is hot. A good fight will clear the air in some relationships, but if your goal is to change an entrenched pattern, the worst time to speak up may be when you are feeling angry or intense. If your fires start rising in the middle of a conversation, you can always say, “I need a little time to sort my thoughts out. Let’s set up another time to talk about it more.” Seeking temporary distance is not the same as a cold withdrawal or an emotional cutoff.
3. Do take time out to think about the problem and to clarify your position. Before you speak out, ask yourself the following questions. “What is it about the situation that makes me angry?” “What do I want to accomplish?” “Who is responsible for what?” “What, specifically, do I want to change?” “What are the things I will and will not do?”
4. Don’t use “below - the - belt” tactics. These include blaming, interpreting, diagnosing, labeling, analyzing, preaching, moralizing, ordering, warning, interrogating, ridiculing, and lecturing. Don’t put the other person down.
5. Do speak in “I” language. Learn to say, “I think. . . . . .” “I feel. . . . .” “I fear. . . . . “ “I want. . . . “A true “I” statement says something about the self without criticizing or blaming the other person and without holding the other person responsible for our feelings and reactions.
Watch out for disguised “you” statements or pseudo “I” statements. (“I think you are controlling and self-centered.”)
6. Don’t make vague requests. (“I want you to be more sensitive to my needs.”) Let the other person know specifically what you want. (“The best way that you can help me now is simply to listen. I really don’t want advice at this time.”) Don’t expect people to anticipate your needs, to do things that you have not requested. Even those who love you can’t read your mind.
7. Do try to appreciate the fact that people are different. We move away from fused relationships when we recognize that there are so many ways of seeing the world as there are people in it. If you’re fighting about who has the “truth,” you may be missing the point. Different perspectives and ways of reacting do not necessarily mean that one person is “right” and the other “wrong”.
8. Don’t participate in intellectual arguments that go nowhere. Don’t spin your wheels trying to convince others of the “rightness” of your position. If the person is not hearing you, simply say, “I understand that you disagree, but I guess we see it differently.”
9. Do recognize that each person is responsible for his or her own behavior. Don’t blame your Dad’s new wife because she “won’t let him” be close to you. If you are angry about the distance between you and your Dad, it’s your responsibility to find a new way to approach the situation. Your Dad’s behavior is his responsibility, not his wife’s.
10. Don’t tell another person what she or he thinks or feels or “should” think or feel. If another person gets angry in reaction to a change you make, don’t criticize their feelings or tell them they have no right to be angry. Better to say,“I understand that you’re angry, and if I were in your shoes, perhaps I’d be angry, too. But I’ve thought it over and this is my decision.” Remember that one person’s right to be angry does not mean that the other person is to blame.
11. Do try to avoid speaking through a third party. If you are angry with your brother’s behavior, don’t say, “I think my daughter felt terrible when you didn’t find the time to come to her school play. “ Instead try. “I was upset when you didn’t come. You’re important to me and I really wanted you to be there.”
12. Don’t expect change to come from hit-and-run confrontations. Change occurs slowly in close relationships. If you make even a small change, you will be tested many times to see if you “really mean it.” Don’t get discouraged if you fall on your face several times as you try to put theory into practice. You may find that you start out fine but then blow it when things heat up. Getting derailed is just part of the process, so be patient with yourself. You will have many opportunities to get back on track. . . . .and try again.

Best Birthday Dinner!

Thank you Willow and Teiji. Love Mom

How To Build Resiliency in your life:
1. Maintain a variety of projects, interests and work. If things aren’t working out in one area or project, have another one that you can turn to.
2. Choose friends wisely. Have people around you that will LISTEN to you and support you. No one should accept a person in their life who shames, belittles or criticizes them.
3. Embrace your errors and see what you can learn from them.
4. Invest yourself in your vision.
5. Focus on the process or road.
6. Accept the rhythms of life, there is pain and pleasure.
7. See the advantages in your hardships.
8. Develop a philosophy that will allow you to accept defeat on the same terms as you would welcome a victory.
9. Get to know yourself; determine what works for you, what your best work habits are, when you are most creative or alert.
10. Forget your mistakes, move on and love what you are doing.


Self- Esteem
A guide to developing more esteem for yourself:
Compassion: Honour all of your feelings, and listen with empathy to others.
Clear Communication: Express your emotions simply, and speak from the heart.
Creativity: Try new things, be playful, and invite the unexpected.
Consistency: Do what you say, and say what you mean each day.
Challenge: Approach problems with positive expectancy, and learn from the challenges.
Cheerfulness: Embrace the day with lightheartedness, and learn to enjoy life.
Confidence: Trust and believe in your own talents and abilities.
Calmness: Breathe and live from a calm centre within yourself each day.
Clear Agreements: Create clear agreements and rules that everyone understands.
Commitment: Be committed to being true to yourself and honest with others each day.
Steps to self-esteem:
1. Identify and fulfill your needs.
2. YOU approve of yourself.
3. Share experiences with supportative friends.
4. Review your successes and practice self-encouragement.
5. Get in touch with feelings and express them.

The Six Tools for well being:
1. Appreciation: This is an antidote to fear. You can’t be in appreciation and fear at the same time.
2. Choice: This is the voice of the heart and freedom. Thinking you have no choice leads to learned helplessness and causes you to give in to automatic fear reaction and blinds you from making choices.
3. Personal Power: This is taking responsibility for your life, feelings and taking action.
4. Leading with your Strengths: When you go into fear, you focus on your weaknesses. When you focus on your strengths you think clearer and keep your body from going into high arousal.
5. The power of Language and Story: Language has the power to alter perception. The words you use can free you, limit you, frighten you or strengthen you.
6. Multidimensional Living: There are three primary components of life; relationships, health, and purpose [work].

Happiness Questionnaire:
1. What makes you happiest? What brings vitality to your life?
2. When were you happiest? In what situations do you feel most alive?
3. What do you like most about yourself?
4. What creates that quality? How do you make that quality last?
5. When did you have the quality the most? How could you create more of it?
6. What gives you peace of mind?
7. What brings out the best in you?
8. Who appreciates you the most? Why?
9. What are your primary strengths?
10. What are your core beliefs?
11. Who is your emotional support network?
12. What best helps you feel creative?

Contemplating Objects

"When we look at any beautiful object (natural or artistic), we suspend all other activity, and we are simply aware, we only want to contemplate the object. While we are in this contemplative state, we do not want anything from the object; we just want to contemplative it. . . We rest with the world as it is, not as we wish it would be." Ken Wilber

Reflecting on Enjoyment

Enjoying your life is a breath-to-breath activity.
Rick Carson

Reflecting on Creativity

“Once that great underground river finds its estuaries and branches in our psyches, our creative lives fill and empty, rise and fall in seasons just like a wild river. These cycles cause things to be made, fed, fall back, and die away, all in their own right time, and over and over again.” - C.P.Estés

- We each have our own creative clock and periods of inactivity are necessary to fill the well.
- Obstacles are a necessary part of the process and they can become the gold for creative expression.
- Every piece of art has its cycle of birth, maturation, and death.



- Becoming one with the process is feeling alive through creative act.
- Creative insights can appear when we are occupied with something else.
- Listening to the guidance of the creative process, it will reveal where you need to go.
- To create is to be in touch with your spirit, it is a meditative practice.




“ Creation is forever individual and it always involves an accumulation of small acts as well as decisive strokes and sweeping integrations.” S.McNiff

Reflecting on Shapes at the Beach

Valley Ridge Art Studio

a place to dream

I have just taught a workshop called Claiming Your Creative Self, at Valley Ridge in Madison Wis. It is one of those places that invites you to feel peaceful, connected and in awe of the land and others.


Until you dream, there isn’t a shape to catch, mold and nurture that dream .




a place to speak

Until you speak, there isn’t a opportunity for the universe to say yes.



a place to feel movement.

Until you move, there isn’t a path.

I hope you can join us sometime at this amazing location to dream, speak, move and create.

The Artful Archetpal Journey of Self Discovery

The Artful Archetypal Journey of Self Discovery


WHO: Anyone who loves learning through story, art and
mythology. Anyone who wants to go deeper in self
exploration. Anyone who wants to explore a mythic
poetic way of being in the world.

WHAT: This is an art therapy group using story, art,
focusing, meditation, and other techniques for being
with your hopes and challenges and finding the flow.

WHEN: Sept. 21/09 Monday night 6:30 p.m. – 9;30 p.m.
Sept. 22/09 Tuesday afternoon 1:30 p.m. - 3:30 p.m. &
night 6:30 p.m. – 9:30 p.m.

WHY:Because it’s a rich, insightful, fun and creative
journey and exciting group to be a part of.

HOW: Come to 2500 MacDonald St. The Art Therapy
Studio is at the back of the house in the lower level. If you
don't live in Saskatchewan, we can arrange something
online or by correspondence.

Cost: This group is 20 weeks. Cost is $275.00 for first 8
weeks, $275.00 for next 8 weeks and $175.00 for the
last 4 weeks. Total for year is $725.00.

An archetype is an original model of a person, energy form, or ideal that is universally recognized. We find archetypes in myths, folklore, oral stories and artwork throughout the world. Joseph Campbell’s The Hero With a Thousand Faces, Allan Hunter’s Stories We Need to Know, and Carl Jung’s work all explore archetypes. In this workshop we will explore a different archetype each session. We will identify and work with our own personal archetypes and make art using the stories, myths, gifts and characters of our personal archetypes.
The tarot is one of the oldest and richest sources of archetypes. The mythological structure within the tarot is a guide that can help us understand our life experiences and spiritual development. By placing our life stories within a larger context we can step back and witness themes and patterns that we find hard to see while immersed in our life process. We can witness what myths we are living by, what new myths or stories are emerging and which old myths or stories are being challenged. The journey of the Fool through the twenty one archetypal expressions lays the plot or connecting thread for the process of individualism and spiritual growth. The archetypes can show us what gifts or strengths we are ready to claim or what unrealized potential we are avoiding. This symbolic matrix leads us to new realizations and
ways of perceiving. Moving through the archetypal journey as a way to witness, understand, and facilitate your growth process is an exciting journey.
Archetypal psychology is combining Jungian, Eastern, and traditional psychology and seeing how these ideas are blended in the archetypes.

Problems have different needs

Knowing the difference between problems that respond well to a head-on approach and ones that need us to respect their mystery and depth, can really help save our time and energy.