Empathy |
Empathy is the capacity to recognize and, to some extent,
share feelings (such as sadness or happiness) that are being experienced by
another sapient or semi-sapient being. Someone may need to have a certain
amount of empathy before they are able to feel compassion.
Many of the children I work with do not appear to have
empathy. Due to their own needs and suffering, they find it difficult to relate
to the suffering of others. I do believe that art-making helps create an
empathy connection between people. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYsE56DZ0KY
Going to poetry readings, creating visual art projects
together, doing communal art projects does help create a sense of community,
connection and empathy. When we realize that we are all connected, then we do
become creative and empathic in new ways. We know that by going to art
workshops, joining art groups and spending an afternoon playing with a friend
in our studio, helps us feel freshly creative in new and different ways. Deep
empathy is a knowledge that we are not that different. There is something about
working together to create something new that joins us at a heart level. There is
a nakedness when we are creating something due to our usual barriers and
defenses being lowered, we are more present, and emotionally unguarded. In my
Art Therapy practice I have watched many tough boys soften and tear up when
they are making something with me.
A lot of the children I work with do not have loving caring
parents who help them feel safe, cared for, and understood. Their parents are
in crisis and they cannot be there for their children. When I help these
children create what they envision in my Art Therapy studio it gives them that
deep need for connection. Creating together tells them that they are heard,
seen and cared for by an adult. It helps them develop empathy on a somatic
level.
Daniel Pink has written a book called A Whole New Mind. He writes about how important creativity, empathy and right
brain thinking are. To survive, we need to work hard helping children develop
empathy and keep working on ways for us to deepen our own empathic response.
Mark Brady writes that we come pre-wired for empathy, but
that children who have suffered trauma and abuse can have that wiring
reorganized.
There is a male teenager that I have worked with for two
years now. When he first came, due to his early years of neglect he was very
dissociated, not trusting, or able to connect. We worked along side each other
for months making things. Our sessions mostly looked like him going through his
“thinking drawer” a drawer that I have in the studio filled with stuff. I added
new things to it each week as I got to know what he liked. He was not
interested in doing conventional art projects he wanted to make his own stuff.
Thinking Drawer |
He has a very creative, inventive mind. Each week I would sit beside him,
finding him things and talking a bit. Slowly he started to relate more to me
and slowly we started to have more of a connection. I know he loves coming
here, but what I am working on is attachment repair and empathy building and it
is slow careful work. As his therapist I am not trying to be the mother he
didn’t have, but I am trying to help him open up to experience some of the
feelings that most children have in their childhood experience with a caring
parent; trust, safety, care and empathy. He is changing. Before he often acted
like I wasn’t there and he had a strong ability to dissociate or tune out. Now
when he makes himself a smoothie he asks if I want some. This is a large step.
Small changes mean big shifts in the work that I do. When he comes in the door,
instead of looking at the art table to see what goodies I have, he looks for
me. His eyes light when he sees me and he talks to me. This never happened in
the first six months.
We now have a real connection. He knows that I accept and
care for him just as he is. Most of the people in his life are working hard to
help him change and that may be important; however, it is also important to have
someone in his life to accept him as he is with all his strengths and flaws,
and it is me. In this way, I am helping him develop empathy.
Read my latest post at Createmixedmedia on the Emotional Intelligence of Artists.
Read my latest post at Createmixedmedia on the Emotional Intelligence of Artists.
5 comments:
Karen, you are an amazing therapist! Thank you for sharing your story of the teen male - it is a moving testament to your skills as a therapist that he has come so far in his empathy skills =-)
Thank you Monica for your kind words. Karen
What a great post. I researched the link further (at you tube) and created a full version of the five videos in the series to post over at my blog--perhaps next week, with a reference to your wonderful site, of course. Thank you
Excellent Post.
Thank you. Hugs Karen
Post a Comment