There is a visualization that I do with clients which
involves having them visualize who in their life stands in front of them,
behind them and on each side. They decide who surrounds them.
I was at a team meeting for one of my clients, which
included me (her Art Therapist), her psychologist, her school counselor, her
parents and her high school principal. We were all gathered at a table for the
meeting. We are all good caring people who are invested in my client’s well
being. However, because of our different roles, we all stand with her
differently. I watched her slowly start to react and become activated by the
conversation which of course was centered around how she could change. This is often how these meetings go,
focusing on deficits. My primary concern is not her outer behaviour but on how
to support and help her regulate her inner behaviour. What I am good at as a
therapist is helping clients self regulate, slow down, stand in their place of
power and safety and stay out of reaction. I do this by truly seeing, hearing
and valuing them. I am helping her autonomic nervous system function in such a
way that she will not be overwhelmed by those around her. That is where I
stand.
Someone did that for me once a long time ago when I was in
grade six. I was a very disconnected and dissociated child until a teacher saw
me and encouraged me to write. I can’t remember much about her, but I do
remember that she gave me permission to be. Someone thought that I was okay,
just as I was. I felt free. She had helped my resistant, fearful body thaw. For
the first time I felt valued. Because of that, I was free to change. With that
encouragement I could stand my ground, be still, breathe and write.
I strive to give my clients that freedom. I know what it is
like to be a child at meetings where the whole conversation is how I need to
change when no one there is standing with me in a place where change can
actually happen. Change takes trust, risk and energy. These things cannot build
from focusing on what is wrong or lacking. Inner strength grows from feelings
of self-esteem, self-worth and self-acceptance. When I, as a therapist give
clients permission to “just be exactly as they are,” that opens the invitation
to allow the body to make room for change as a natural forward movement not a
forced agenda.
5 comments:
Very nice Karen. And simply one of the most immediate ways of doing this is to breathe. Breath does it all, without any need to imagine, visualise or act. For those who cannot get to the place you describe this has an immediate impact on the energetic systems of the mind, body and soul. xxxoo
Thanks Catherine. Hugs Karen
and you speak of the permission to be .. absolutely .. the gift we all need to have and to share with one another .. which you do
be -autifully .. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours Karen and thank you for the gift of being art, which you share with us .. xxoo
This is a very interesting concept to me... deciding who surrounds me. I thought I would immediately know who that was, but I don't..it's an interesting thought process that I'm going through. I think some that surround me have passed away, and some that I really need to think about if they belong in the circle around me. Thanks for the thoughts on this today, Karen...miss you.. xo
Jennifer, So nice that you dropped in. Miss you sweet one. Hugs Karen
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